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lyrics

he’s leaving the house early
because he cannot stand
another breakfast with his family
where he has to pretend
that everything is finde
cause clearly it is not
but still he did not tell (them)
he’s nowhere near to well

it was a prophylactic check-up
he would never have believed
no, he never ever thought that
he is ill, that he’ll receive
a diagnosis of cancer
at stage four
which means he’ll stay alive
for half a year, or so

louise was waking up
and she saw me still awake
she asked what’s on my mind
so I started to narrate

my visit to the doctor
I did not tell the truth
nothing is ok – nothing is fine
I have a diagnosis
for a metastatic cancer
which means it will probably end my life

it’s living inside me, it’s taking over
it’s in my lungs it eats me up
from the inside out
I don’t want to surrender my life’s not over
there are possibilities, I’m still alive, I still can fight

I do not want to leave you
there’s still so much I need to
do, there are so many things
i have to experience

with you and with our girl
how can my life be over
I’m not ready, no
I cannot abandon her
she needs me I’m her father..
I have to be there for her

i must not leave
my life can’t be over
there are things I have to do
I have to recover

but I know this is not possible
cause this disease will end my life
though this is the reality
I wish I could survive

credits

from do stories shape our reality, or does reality define our stories?, released May 27, 2022

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clutch at straws Vienna, Austria

emotional screamo/hc from austria

upcoming shows:

02.04. - Arena Dreiraum /w Karina Kvist, Oakhands

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